You may have noticed that I speak with conviction.
I live like everything I do is the right thing to do. I don't doubt my actions or the decisions I make.
This is real self-confidence.
Self-confidence is just acknowledging what is and giving up on what is not regarding who you really are.
It's getting rid of all the unessential bullshit that says you aren't enough.
You gain real confidence when you break the chains of your mind, when you push yourself from the boundaries you have accepted from everyone else.
The thing is, there are no boundaries. No rules. No laws. Absolutely nothing at all.
Only by finding out who you really are, you do discover what it takes to be nothing at all.
They say the mind is everything. But everything is only what is. You also better learn what is-not.
Most people have ideas about themselves. "I am this kind of a person." Then they try to stay congruent with that idea.
The more you define yourself with ideas and concepts, the less you will be who you actually are. When you are defining yourself with external concepts, you are all the others, not you.
Almost everyone I see, is chasing something that is the opposite of who they are.
For a long time, I chased an image of myself too. I thought I needed to be something to be me.
When Gautama Buddha, or other ancient masters used the word "desire", they meant nothing but chasing yourself.
Chasing an external image of who you think you are.
This is one of the most misunderstood concepts of all time. Why? Because the real thing became nothing but a concept once someone started interpreting it.
Gautama Buddha's entire life's work was to create a system that relieves people from their suffering.
The result was Buddhism, which is exactly the opposite of what buddha preached.
Moreover, things won't make any sense to most people until they are forced to give up everything they ever thought they were supposed to be.
When you were small and weak, you were most sensitive to all of the bullshit of the world.
Make no mistake, everything is bullshit and lies, and at best, everything is only true enough. The mind can only grasp what the mind can grasp, and that's not much.
When you were a kid, the stronger forces shaped you into the image they thought you were supposed to be.
Almost no one treats kids as kids; instead they treat them as something they think kids should be.
Parents want their kids to become decent human beings, instead of just letting them grow. Many parents actually think that is their duty: to create machines that are programmed to be proper citizens.
Teaching is all bullshit. Being an example isn't.
The parents and the culture you lived in didn't let you be who you really were. You had many flaws, many holes and you weren't good enough to be the rascal kid you were.
Nowadays, it's worse than ever. It's no longer enough for them to try to mentally shape kids into something they want them to be, but in these days they try to change them biologically as well, using the ADHD medication.
Fundamentally, everything is mental control, including the biological.
If you were born a man, you were ashamed of being the masculine force of the world. If you were born a woman, you were boxed to fit the cultural definitions of what it means to be a woman.
You were even ashamed of being a human. You are destroying the nature, they say.
But most fundamentally, you were ashamed to be just yourself. Or maybe you weren't, because the truth is not everyone is sick. But almost everyone is.
Shaming is the ultimate strategy of control. "Don't be that, be this", "Don't do that, do this." Someone is always executing his or her personal power over someone.
Shaming is putting your consciousness into chains. Mental control is as bad as physical control; you are being forced to be in the control of someone else.
Many say no one can hurt you without your consent... but that's bullshit too.
When you are 100% dependent on someone and honestly believe that is all you have, like when you were a kid, anyone could hurt you, regardless of your consent.
When you gain power, both physical and mental, you finally gain the ability to say: "NO."
When you become both physically and mentally strong, it's time to cut off all the unessential bullshit you were forced to eat when you were a kid. And all of us are carrying at least something.
People don't realize it's impossible to be anyone other than who they already are, and as a result, the shaming will merely create a fictional character of doubt who needs to chase his own self.
If you were to stop chasing, you would be complete. You would be perfect. You would have the complete self-confidence in yourself.
A traitor of his own soul is the person who is afraid to do what he is afraid of doing, when deep down, he knows he needs to do it.
Fear creates a life where the person is chasing something that is not even possible to get by default.
You cannot chase yourself, can you? You can only chase something that is outside of you, something you aren't.
You can chase masculinity, femininity, success, titles, acceptance from women/men or many forms of self-importance - but you cannot chase your own face. You cannot chase yourself.
You cannot physically chase yourself either. You cannot chase anything you actually are.
Moreover, what you are, you are most often unaware of. It's like air.
It's so obvious that it's almost impossible to see. Only by going to the extremes of who you aren't will you find out who you really are.
People hating on you are valuable assets. When they tell you that you are something you aren't, you know what is the truth.
The contrast between what is and what is-not tells you everything you need to know.
The change, the contrast, is the only reason you know anything.
The contrast shows you who you really are because you experience a strong sense of self.
The worst oppressor is the best teacher of all. Pain is your teacher too, but so is comfort. Fire and ice, my friend.
Only by chasing the opposite image of yourself will you gain artificial self-importance and purpose to live. Or that is actually what you think.
- The opposite is true. The more you live, the more you understand that the entire reality is upside down compared to what your mind made it out to be.
Being oneself has no room for concepts. No room for self-importance. No room for shame. In fact, it has no room for anything at all.
All things exist, but not inside your mind as illusions to cling to.
The more you become yourself, the more you become nobody.
You become complete nothingness, but only to yourself. Everyone else will see you as more than anything you have ever been. Keep growing and you might some day be more than anyone has ever been.
When you stop clinging to lifeless forms, when you stop defining yourself with symbols, you are not going to die.
You actually become more alive.
I am continuously becoming nobody - in my own eyes. The more I live, the less I live for myself, the more it is about everyone else, than it is about me.
I am in the process of complete disappearance.
The reality is nobody gives a flying fuck about the mental dramas inside your own head. They don't serve others, and they definitely don't serve you.
No one knows about the heartaches of Nelson Mandela or anxiety of Buddha, because they lived for others and didn't need the confirmation of others to feel complete.
Only when there is pain and a demand for comfort do I appear. The pain and discomfort are the reasons for your chasing something you aren't.
Most people are crooked and in pain. All of their pain - even physical - is caused by the emotional pain they experience.
Get rid of the mental injury inside your head, and the physical injury also disappears. And vice versa.
Your past is burning you alive, and the only way to find comfort, is to create bandages with things that aren't even real.
Seeking comfort for your pain and wounds turn you into an actor - a sad clown. In fact, "wounds" aren't even wounds. They are just life you are refusing to accept and confront as they are.
When you are in absolute pain, your consciousness is completely focused on yourself. You have a closed mind.
When you are in absolute comfort, your consciousness is focused on everything else. Your mind expands.
The person who has the least real and unreal things bothering him, has the greatest mind.
I am continuously in awe, because instead of myself, I can focus on everyone and everything else.
I don't spend a single second feeling sorry for who I am or what I am doing. I don't even remember the last time.
- Memorize the source of pain. Experience the pain. Accept the pain completely and you are healed.
Suffering in life is caused by believing you are sick. It is non-acceptance of your past. You can only move forward by letting go of the past and confronting the future.
I believe suffering is part of the development cycle of consciousness. You have to suffer and fight the demons inside your head in order to be free.
If you need to prove something to others or to yourself, go prove it right away and don't waste more time wondering what you should do. You already know.
Whatever you need to do, do it and do it as soon as possible.
The action will sculpt you, and under all that marble, you will find an amazing statue.
Only after you have slayed the demons can you have the peace of mind. Peace always comes after war.
Slaying the demons is the battle of your life, and if you manage to succeed, you will be a free man.
The more you fight and confront your fears, the less pain and doubt you will experience.
The less you experience pain, the more authentic you are. Authenticity is holding onto nothing other than who you really are, which is nothing at all.
You just are.
After you become nobody to yourself, you can become somebody to everyone else.
That is what you probably want anyway. To be somebody.
You can be that.
I wish you all the best,